Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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