Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
