2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
