I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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