Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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