She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
