it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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