I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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