Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
