I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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