508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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