How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
