So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Can I color on your dick again?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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