That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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