can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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