Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
