Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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