The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
