How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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