It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
