remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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