i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
