I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
