soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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