She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
