During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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