those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
