i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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