Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
