I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
