Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
