Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
