i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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