What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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