fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
