How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
