Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
