i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize