You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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