I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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