I think my vagina is haunted
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
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She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
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I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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