We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
