Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
