dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
