I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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