There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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