I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
