3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
