It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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