i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I think my moral compass just broke
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
