Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
