can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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