So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
