Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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