I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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