Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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