God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10