Texts From Last Night

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  (406): View more from Montana

  When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.

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  (406): When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up. http://tfl.nu/pzz5
  Replies (26) Good night (7978) Bad night (807)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him

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  (954): my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him http://tfl.nu/k9ng
  Replies (28) Good night (4953) Bad night (1040)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)

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  (403): SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :) http://tfl.nu/xxdx
  Replies (15) Good night (6046) Bad night (769)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.

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  (412): Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country. http://tfl.nu/04vq
  Replies (18) Good night (5902) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.

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  (440): I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job. http://tfl.nu/xaqo
  Replies (13) Good night (1011) Bad night (2975)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged

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  (814): when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged http://tfl.nu/78pb
  Replies (16) Good night (4917) Bad night (2969)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.

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  (479): Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/7jgb
  Replies (2) Good night (1437) Bad night (586)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.

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  (478): Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night. http://tfl.nu/09o6
  Replies (3) Good night (1055) Bad night (489)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.

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  (701): Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open. http://tfl.nu/k8hm
  Replies (9) Good night (2263) Bad night (453)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.

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  (202): He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight. http://tfl.nu/npw7
  Replies (14) Good night (599) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...

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  (805): We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians... http://tfl.nu/wh6c
  Replies (1) Good night (827) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.

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  (727): I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes (937): Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you. http://tfl.nu/m8ti
  Replies (1) Good night (802) Bad night (409)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...

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  (814): After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me... http://tfl.nu/trvc
  Replies (2) Good night (563) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Explain why there's a meatball in my bong

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  (704): Explain why there's a meatball in my bong http://tfl.nu/1bk7
  Replies (0) Good night (287) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water

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  (306): the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water http://tfl.nu/o262
  Replies (5) Good night (304) Bad night (316)

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