So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers