I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
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I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.