Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(734): View more from Michigan

So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....

Fav 2 1234 2012
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(443): View more from Maryland

Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.

(1-443): View more from Maryland

Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.

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(551): View more from New Jersey

Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.

Fav 33 1344 3602
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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore

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(702): View more from Nevada

they just started filling water ballons with vodka.

(1-702): View more from Nevada

on my way.

Fav 13 4304 1268
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

Fav 16 2611 2858
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(586): View more from Michigan

So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.

Fav 2 594 409
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers

Fav 3 129 85
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