I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
So vagazzling was a success
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
