i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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