We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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