dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
