whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
