hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
